learntoquestion ltq discussions

The way we shape ourselves and the way we see others is caused by a number of factors. There is a sense of wanting to belong with the majority. I think that many of us, including myself, have a sense of validation that we want from those around us. In Nausicaa Renner’s article, How Social Media Shapes Our Identity, explains that the ability of technology today allows us “to produce a narrative of our lives, to choose what to remember and what to contribute to our own mythos.” I partly think that children and teenagers in particular have gained a sense of independence to choose what they can and can’t reveal about themselves. When looking at my peers’ identity vessels, I felt that I gained a better understanding of the difference between how people perceive someone vs how someone perceives themselves. I was able to relate to many of them; the love for family and the importance of friendship in their lives. In terms of personal identity, there is both a side of pride and validation that limits our ability to carry ourselves in the way that we want to. This bridges the gap between one’s personal identity and social identity. I think this is perfectly exemplified in Julia Pollanco’s 1973 poem, Identity, in which she says “Let them be as flowers, always watered, fed, guarded, admired, but harnessed to a pot of dirt. I'd rather be a tall, ugly weed”(1-4). The psychological belief of wanting to stay with the majority is human nature but I also believe that being aware is important. When you stand with the majority, it's just as important to reflect and think. Social organisms are naturally hardwired to make a basic assessment of bias about someone based on their own group or person. Often, it is much harder to develop the willingness and accept the identity of others. When I took the time to walk through the mini gallery of student vessels, I was able to understand a lot of my classmates more. Many of them used creative items like jewelry boxes, food cans, and many others to display their identity. I think that the purpose of these identity vessels in relation to social identity is to better divide ourselves in order to neutralize a lot of the biases that we hold. I also think, in relation to class, that learning beyond what we think of our classmates creates a sense of healthy dissonance that makes us reflect. The vessels give us the chance to take on a new perspective and understand the importance of each and every identity of our classmates.

I think a lot of people shape their identities around their hobbies and sports on the outside and then on the inside we include details related to family, background, culture, insecurities we have grown into, etc. We define our identities by experiences that have had an impact on us and I think a lot of decisions we make are influenced by that knowledge. Our social decisions are determined by the aspects of ourselves that we want to put out into the world due to pressure to conform to society's ideals. Our social identities are influenced by our personal identities but I think most people keep a separation between the two as we feel that not every aspect of ourselves would be accepted. Our identity can also change over time just based on us growing up but some aspects are certainly just part of our nature. I think the influence of Social Media in this modern age limits our ability to change and grow. Partially because once you post something online it is never fully deleted and I think sometimes that makes it hard to grow and change when there is a permanent idea of who you are. On top of that there is so much influence from others on the internet that makes it so desired to be the same as everyone and you feel excluded if not. For example I always see “hey girls what shoes are we wearing for this summer since ___ is out?” or “this new water bottle is a must” and when I come into school not having one makes you different. I’ve even noticed specifically that once I swapped to a more popular waterbottle (Owala) I silently judge people with hydroflasks or other brands even though water bottles are supposed to be long repeated use objects. These social expectations to fit in limit acceptance and approval of growth often. I really feel like I learned a lot about people from their identity vessels and even ones I initially judged once reading the reasoning for certain aspects I was like “wow that's actually a really cool reason” for whatever it was. These vessels really reminded me that I do not know everything about people and that people who I write off are interesting and have depth in their character. In relation to the readings I chose the poem “Fear” by Khalil Gibran as I think the way we present ourselves and issues of change in a time with high social pressures is very important and well described by this. I interpret the first line “It is said that before entering the sea

a river trembles with fear,” as how one feels when entering a social situation we are often anxious. The poem progresses onto overcoming the fear of social pressure and rather than disappearing into the ocean we need to stand out against it.

There is a line between the parts that someone might choose to share socially, and the personal aspects they keep to themselves. Social media plays a large role in the division of this line, as people are in full control of what they want their peers to see. Naturally, we only want the best aspects of ourselves to be observed, which could include pictures, experiences, relationships, and accomplishments. In Nausicca Renner’s article “How Social Media Shapes Our Identity”, she explores the effect that social media has on who we are and writes, “We may, in short, have traded ‘screen memories for screens.’ This is of particular importance for those who yearn to establish new identities.” I believe this quote goes to show how what people post online might not always align with who they truly are. In this time of age where a grand dependence is placed on technology, people are often concerned with documenting their lives online rather than experiencing memories as they occur. It would be ridiculous to say there is someone who doesn't do this at least to some extent, and I myself am guilty of it too. This connects to identity because it pushes this narrative in which people have no flaws, adding pressure to be just as “perfect” as one might portray themself. This can detriment how we see ourselves, increase levels of comparison/insecurity, and promote conformity. Relating to the phenomenon we learned about and discussed in class, humans have a desire to appear as normal, especially in the public eye. This stems from our development, as in the past survival relied on conformity, but also from the simple fear of being rejected socially. As I walked around and noticed the vessels, various boxes contained pictures from social media posts, app logos, and even screenshots of responses to an Instagram prompt asking how people view them. All in all, I have concluded that such platforms allow for people to learn more about each other and foster communities, but simultaneously determine what details of our lives are acceptable to share. While parts of us cannot be changed (such as ancestral background, features, race, etc.), the majority of who we are is constantly developing as we go through life. An example of this could be how our hobbies and interests, things we consider as parts of ourselves, change as we transition from young kids to teenagers. Needless to say, every identity is undoubtedly complex, composed of our own views, others’ views of us, and experiences we undergo.

I learned a lot about who my classmates see themselves as, and I think this will prove important to our classwork together. It is easy to choose to dislike certain people if you don’t know anything about them, since assumptions can be made, no matter how wild, and you can convince yourself that they are true just so your dislike of this one person can be justified. I tried to look for patterns based on my prior knowledge of certain people. I noticed that classmates who tended to participate in class, or that I knew were sociable, tended to put picture of themselves, usually accompanied with a couple friends. Other students, who I had assumed or noticed were more introverted, tended to put objects and items in their vessels, and left out photos of themselves and friends. I thought this was interesting but still understanding, since people who are more extroverted tend to be more comfortable putting themselves into the spotlight, in this case with pictures of themselves. However, I noticed those same, extroverted peers tended to have similar items that were put into their identity box, like sports teams, friends, and slightly more baseline identity traits. Others put more personal items in, like meaningful toys, artwork, and meaningful mementos that they described in their writing. While reading the personal statements, I learned that many people tied their items back to meaningful memories or specific people that were around them when they were growing up. They used these people and memories to shape who they are today, and those things have become a key part in their identity. These topics are discussed in Beverly Daniel Tatum’s “The Complexity of Identity”. Tatum discusses how “Choices made in adolescence ripple throughout the lifespan” and can impact your identity for years. Tatum also mentions how “the self-creation of one’s identity, is commonly experienced… during the period of adolescence”. This also helps explain my observation of the identity boxes, and helps me to understand why many boxes were filled with items from many people’s childhood. Overall, I really enjoyed this project and feel like I’ve taken away a lot from it. I learned about new people, and new parts of friend’s identities. I think the new things that I have now learned about my classmates will make it easier to engage in meaningful conversations about the topics we discuss in class, and will make the overall experience better in class.

The second article theorizes that "the risk of constant documentation is alienation: a sense that our bodies are generating still moments rather than constant movement." This line hit me hard because I realized that my identity vessel seemed really surface-level compared to many of the others. I used photos because photos are how I remember moments that made me really happy. But I do feel like remembering through photos is eroding my ability to remember entire memories for myself. Constantly being able to document things makes it so that anything worth remembering, I don't need to remember for myself. But I would agree that this reduces life's complexity. I think that this reduces the difference between personal and social identity because we start to see ourselves through our photos, which we show to each other. We have less time alone to form an identity that is just for ourselves.

I was surprised by a lot of my peers' identity vessels. I learned new things about many people, including my friends. However, I don't think these vessels gave as good a sense of people's personal vs. social identities as they could have, because we made them knowing other people would see them. Since we made the vessels for an audience, our social identities influenced them heavily and we altered our personal identities into something we were okay with other people seeing. I think the idea of sense of self was definitely shown in the identity vessels because people with a stronger sense of self were willing to present more of their personal identity because they didn't fear others' judgement as much.

Finally, I know that the whole point of the identity vessels was to help get rid of preconceived notions of other people and help us judge them less, but I don't think that really worked. People I thought were shallow still seemed shallow when I looked at their vessels. People I already disliked didn't seem any more likable just because of what was in their box. I definitely made split-second judgements about people I'd never met just from looking at their boxes. I think that society makes it really hard for us to accept other people's changes, even when they're right in front of us, because we don't want to. We want everyone to fit into a neat little box in our heads, just like they do in the movies.

The things that shape us are the more superficial ideas, what people like or dislike, or the way they look and act to other people. According to “The Complexity of Identity: “Who am I?”” by Beverly Daniel Tatum, people focus on the parts that don’t align with the majority, the parts of themselves that are “other” (queerness, race, gender, etc.). This sort of identity comes from society, as they vary from the default. People are inevitably different from each other, so the “differences” are the traits that most often define that identity. These ideas connect to people’s personal identities, as they take the groupings of those “different” traits and join other people that are like them. I definitely did this myself, as I included my ethnicity as a part of my identity, and I noticed multiple other ethnicities or races being specifically pointed out on peoples’ identity vessels. It is something that I realize is very true, in all walks of life. There are a lot of traits that are reserved for the “majority”, like physical ability, sexuality, race, and gender.

Our individual identities usually impact people and the way they present themselves in their social identities. Their interests, beliefs or fears usually present themselves where they talk to others, sometimes differing from their individual identities. That isn’t always the case, but it is definitely common in all kinds of people, like in the conformity theory.

Some people chose their interests or the things they like as their “internal” identities, while others thought that they were more surface level parts of their identities. I think that it’s interesting that different people feel more strongly protective, or more private about their likes than others. I do think that it has something to do with how people want to present themselves, or how much they “care” about their interests or likes. Of course, it could also account for how these interests are very subject to change, similar to some parts of a person’s identity. The way that different people handle these parts of themselves make it difficult to understand other ways of thinking, including thinking about peoples’ ability to change. Society makes it so some parts of a person’s identity are ingrained into their physical selves, like race, for example. Nowadays, people are usually put into a specific “box”, and forced to stay in it their entire lives. If they leave that box, they are seen as “traitors” according to the Social Identity Theory. I believe the identity vessels are aligned with these ideas, as sometimes specific sets of traits would align with specific personal beliefs, or with their individual identities.

One of the biggest questions regarding personality is if people's identity can really change or if it's malleable. Although I 100% believe that people's identities can change, the rise of social media may try to prove otherwise. Seeing all of these identity vessel projects, I was able to really get to know my fellow classmates who I didn’t know before. You take one look at someone and think you know them but you don’t really know their true identity. Identity is shaped from your experiences, culture, and people around you. Seeing some people include their country's flag or things part of their culture in their project, I am able to see that we are all different because of our backgrounds. In the article I read about how social media shapes our identity, it talked about its benefits but also how effective it is in permanently leaving your identity out there. Two lines I found to be very important were, “Now that the Internet is more permanent, and more pervasive, it’s hard to avoid the relics of past identities (page 3).” This line is definitely true because of how cruel social media is where people will never forget something about you or what you did. I believe that people can change their identity because they learn more about other people's identities. When learning about other people, you should try to open your mind to their perspective and think how this can apply to you. The other line I found which is absolutely true is, “These situations-in which a naked photo or an offensive tweet destroys a person's public life-are unfortunate, and widely covered (page 3).” This once again connects to that idea where what you do will forever be remembered as to who you are. Whether you're the person who got their naked photos leaked, or sent a controversial tweet just to voice your opinion, people will never forget. This brings me to the question: How do social psychological theories impact humans' willingness to view and accept the identities or the growth of others. The answer is simple for the fact that as humans, if we see something either online or wherever out of our nature and different from how we act/believe, we immediately turn to categorizing that person as someone different.

After walking through and seeing everyone’s Identity Vessel, it changed my view on many of the people because I couldn’t tell much about them just by seeing them in the hallways. I learned that many of my peers have similar interests as me and I didn’t know. I also noticed that many people included similar items inside their boxes, such as pictures of their friends, families, and extracurricular activities. This project definitely reinforces the idea that identity is very unique and that people have many different things that make up their identity. I do think that our identities do change over time, especially when we are younger. However, at BLS, after being with the same people for 6 years, you still think about who they were a few years ago, and even if they have changed, it might be hard to realize that they have changed. Compared to when you change, it is very easy for you to notice that change. I also thought it was interesting to see what my peers thought other people thought of them or could notice about them just by looking at them. Some people wrote down physical descriptions, as well as the personalities that people might attribute to them just by seeing them. I think society can cause us to change, especially after learning about the social conformity theory, and that people might change in order to fit in and not be seen as “weird”. I also think that society may or may not see our identity change and grow throughout our lives because sometimes we think “Oh that person can’t change”, but that isn’t the case. One quote I found interesting was “Colleges and employers now look at social-media accounts for evidence of character”. I don’t think this is good because social media doesn’t fully show who someone is it only shows how the person wants to be seen, and I don’t think that colleges and employers should be making decisions on how someone looks on social media because you don’t get the full picture and after seeing the identity vessels you can’t learn a lot about someone just by looking at them.

I believe that our identities can be malleable, but only if you allow it to be. By this I mean that if you have low self esteem or are easy to conform, then yes your identity can be malleable to a certain extent. I also think that being malleable can be obtained to a certain point. In Nausicaa Renner's "How social media shapes identity she states, “People who transition, for instance, often rely on having a clean break, visually, with their previous appearances”. This indicates that you could always change your ways but your identity itself, deep down, wouldn't change. Society has a big role in our ability to change and grow throughout our lives. Society makes our conformity and awareness of judgement really bad. Many want to fit in really bad and feel pressure to do things. In the article "How social media shapes identity” Renner indicates how technology “allows us to produce a narrative of our lives, to choose what to remember and what to contribute to our own mythos”. This implies to us that with the help of social media, many can change their appearance, personalities, and much more. Social media makes us want to romanticize a fake narrative of our own lives and allows us to share it to others. Social psychological theories impact humans' willingness to view themselves and accept the identities or the growth of others by many wanting to have that sense of belonging and tend to want to feel validated. For example, in Beverly Daniel Tatum’s “The Complexity of Identity: “Who Am I?”” they explain how, “dominant groups generally do not like to be reminded of the existence of inequality. Because rationalizations have been created to justify the social arrangements, it is easy to believe everything is as it should be. Dominants "can avoid awareness because their explanation of the relationship becomes so well integrated in other terms; they can even believe both they and the subordinate group share the same interests and, to some extent, a common experience.” This makes it known that many surround themselves with people that they feel dominate with, or share the same interest.

Our personal experiences, our actions, and thoughts in response to certain experiences give us our idea of ourselves. The way people interpret our actions and our thoughts helps create an understanding of how they see us. Everyone around the world comes from different backgrounds and has gone through different experiences, which ultimately affect society, either positively or negatively. One of the reasons the United States is considered the best country in the world is that so many of these people come together, and given their right, say what they feel without a need to feel oppressed. In the past, however, this has led to unfortunate events, but also helped change America to become “The Land of the Free”. Like Claude McKay mentioned in their poem I Know My Soul, “The river needs to take the risk of entering the ocean because only then will fear disappear, because that's where the river will know it's not about disappearing into the ocean, but of becoming the ocean”, Our opinions, thoughts, and beliefs, the river in this sense, change over time unti eventuallyl merging into one big “Ocean” which is finally, our identity. This shows that our identities are really malleable in the sense that there are different ideas in the world that people can understand in their own way, or an argument that seems to shift their point of view. However, society limits our ability to change and grow through the ideas of “right” and “wrong” groups. With these groups, individuals hinder their identities because they are told they are in the wrong or that their thinking isn’t correct. Through my peers' identity vessels, I learned that even small moments that can seem insignificant to another can be a valuable piece of who that person is today. I was surprised to learn new things about my peers that I wouldn’t have guessed based on their first impressions, but looking at these vessels and even creating my own has shown that there are parts about everyone that not many people could know about. At the end of The Complexity of Identity: “Who am I,” Beverly Daniel Tatum says that, ”Our ongoing examination of who we are in our full humanity, embracing all of our identities, creates the possibility of building alliances that may ultimately free us all.” I believe this entirely because if a we can surpass our cognitive dissonance and if groups of people can come together, listen, and understand the ideas of their peers, there would be little to no room for error in the world. With all this said, I propose a question: How can we create spaces where people can share ideas, be heard, and feel understood without fear of judgment or threats to their identity?

Walking through the identity vessel gallery, I observed that there are many ways people tend to perceive themselves. This was shown in a variety of ways, their words to describe themselves; that can be the ones they subconsciously chose for themselves given by other people, or words they used to describe themselves. The type of identity vessel that they created, whether it was heavily decorated, or something more minimal. As well as what they wrote about themselves. In one person’s accompanying statement, they mentioned how their smile was the first thing people noticed about them, which is something that they carried with them and made it into a part of their identity. Words, and actions are a part of what shapes how we see ourselves.

In some other people's vessels, they used cameras, and photos to signify their identities. After reading “How Social Media Shapes Our Identity” by Nausicaa Renner, I highlighted the points I could take out and apply to other people's perspectives and vessels. All of these vessels represented choice, “On the one hand, she says, children and teen-agers have gained a level of control that they didn’t have before.” (Renner 2), we chose how other people got to see our lives which was highlighted especially in those vessels that used cameras, and personal photos as parts of their identities. The article by Renner highlights how youth growing up during an age of technology, have a semblance of control over their lives. What they post, what they choose to save on their smartphones, etc. This all influences how society perceives us as individuals, unless they know someone's personal identity, they aren’t looking outside of their personally curated box. Diving deeper, we can take this curated box and extend it out for the rest of our lives, at some point the line between what is real for your identity and what is curated for social media is blurred. “Who am I?”, becomes the question at large. When the line between reality and social media starts to look the same, moments can stop being private. It is widely seen on social media that youth start to pick up their cameras and almost delude themselves into thinking “everything is fine”, this mindset clouds our judgement and affects our personal and social presence.

Our identities could be as malleable as we allow it to be. When people are strong in their own beliefs, personalities, and perceptions of themselves, it’s harder for their identities to be easily persuaded by other people. However, it is human nature to think, “Who am I?” and “..the answer [could] depend [on a] large part on who the world around [us] says [we are]. Who do my parents say I am? Who do my peers say I am? What message is reflected back to me in the faces and voices of my teachers, my neighbors, store clerks? What do I learn from the media about myself? How am I represented in the cultural images around me?” (Tatum, 1). This emphasizes the subconscious affect society really has on our identities. Some people care more about what their peers, neighbors, and other figures think about them than other people do. These ideas all intersect with psychological theories, such as Cognitive Dissonance, Social Conformity and Identity theory, etc. Ultimately, an identity vessel could be stagnant, or ever evolving. The question, “Who am I” will always be answered with some sort of outside influence, even if it's the individual choosing not to conform. Depending on your perspective, society could give you endless ways to change and grow. It’s all about what you choose to do.